Holding on ….by a thread

First, I do hope you had a glorious weekend celebrating our Risen Savior. We saw lots of kids out doing their egg hunts and looking so very cute at Church. It was a lovely day.

My family, or just one particular member, took advantage of my peaceful spiritual mood and collaborated with the Easter Bunny for a surprise. Usually surprises are not my jam. I am a planner, a pro vs. cons girl, a let’s think about this all the way through type person. This surprise is no exception……not good for me. I feel awful for saying it, because most of you are going to think I am terrible. I can think of two of you (shout out to Kim and Rita) who will totally be on my side with this one.

Y’all here is the “surprise”…..

I could cry. I did cry. Before you all send me ‘shame on me’ comments. Allow me to explain. I grew up with pets. We always had dogs, an occasional cat, even a horse at one point. I have done the animal thing. I just don’t want to be responsible for feeding and caring for anything else.

Anyway, his name is Lionel. That was also a strategic move to name him after Lionel Richie because he has always been one of my favorites. I can’t see his eyes which is freaking me out. I am always sure he is staring at me and who knows if he is or not. I am in this weird limbo of trying to not get attached so he doesn’t bond to me as his person, while also appearing friendly so he doesn’t want to attack me. He showed up on Saturday evening because apparently people who terrorize families with new pets that they don’t want, need Sundays off. Imagine just minding your own business making a sweet potato casserole when Lionel shows up. For the longest I thought it was a joke. I went to the yard hoping to find a neighbor who had allowed the puppy to borrowed for a prank. I literally kept waiting until around 10:30 when I realized Lionel was staying. It was at that point harsh words were spoken like……lawyers, separate rooms, separate homes, etc.

I seriously don’t know what I am going to do. I am already exhausted listening to his little whimpers and talking about potty strategy. Send tips. Send help. Abduct him and no questions will be asked. Mercy.

I don’t even know what to say……except April Fools!

If any of this had actually happened, you all would have known because I am pretty sure a grown man with a puppy shoved in his ear would have made national news.

Have a wonderful day and a wonderful week. I will be over here – pet free – welcoming in April.