2021

Happy New Year!

I think I am like everyone else reflecting on what to take into this new year as lessons learned. I am going to share a few of those observations with you today.

It was a tough year. Lots of loss for several people. I had sympathy cards on almost every one of my weekly grocery lists. Many losses from COVID, but others from cancer, heart disease, car accidents and all the other things from which we did not get a reprieve during the pandemic. We lost my mom’s oldest brother. He is the first of the nine siblings to pass. He was our family Santa. I am fortunate to have photos of my kids sitting on his lap as he was fully suited and bearded. I always sent him cards. I always enjoyed speaking with him. I told him we loved him. Like many families we will face this loss again this year when we can gather and experience his absence from family gatherings for the first time. I am reminded to love well, love openly and love hard.

All the racial unrest and injustice brought some important lessons for me too. I had people in my circle ask for book suggestions and while I provided titles, I also recommended that they talk with people in their circle. Race is complex. Everyone has a story. Hearing someone’s first hand account helps you to not just gain head knowledge, but hopefully affects your heart. I must say I was disheartened to learn in many cases I am their only friend of color. Wow, that’s a lot of pressure to be the sole representative of a whole race. So I took good stock of some ‘friendships’ that have been in place for years, decades even. I have been embraced, patted on the back, spoken to with complimentary words at Church Services, Bible Studies, social gatherings, etc. However, when major life events happened like weddings, baby showers, graduations I was not invited and learned of these things second hand. Ahhhh, you see what’s happening here? I am no longer willing to be the diverse friend in the circle to soothe anyone’s personal conscience about where they stand on race relations. I am here for the true, the honest, the real. My circle is smaller but it is stronger and it is healthier for me. I am reminded that life is too short to invest my time and energy into relationships that are surface level only. I am blessed with a great circle of friends from all races, ages, and backgrounds. I even gained some new ones for which I am so thankful. I want to be an authentic friend to them and will value their authenticity with me.

Adults and grown ups were a bit disappointing this year. I don’t know how many times I witnessed behavior that left me asking, were these adults? As a society we tsk, tsk at the younger generations. We question their ability to make good choices and behave like productive citizens. Well I think we can relax. I saw so many young people take a stand, require truth and expect accountability. I saw many younger people ask hard questions and actually listen to the answers. I saw many lead from their classrooms, their neighborhoods, their social media platforms. I am reminded that their is hope for the future and some really good leaders poised to take the helm.

I am so grateful that those who do hard work day in and day out finally got the recognition they deserve. Teachers, you have always done above and beyond. You’ve been handed our most precious possessions for years and tended to them from 8 to 3 and then worked tirelessly into the evening to be ready to do it all again the next day. Our medical professionals, you have always gotten us at worse and done all you could to mend us back to our best. You work long hours with the weight of our depending on you constantly on your shoulders. Moms, you have done it all….whatever has to be done you make it happen and kept everyone going. I am reminded that we should acknowledge those who are pouring out of themselves every single day for the sake and well being of others.

This year while I saw the absolutely worst in some people, I also saw the best in so many. I saw people willing to help others, willing to help small businesses stay afloat, willing to feed those who found themselves without, willing to be a voice for those who could not speak for themselves, willing to sacrifice their own comfort for the sake of someone else. I am reminded that we all have a part to play in making this world better and prompted to do my part.

I am afraid we all have too great of expectations for poor old 2021. It can only be what we all make it. It can only reflect the love we are all willing to give. It can only be as brave as we are willing to be. It can only be as healing as we are willing to permit. It can only be a reflection of us who will walk through it compassionate, courageous, patient, empathetic, charitable and loving. I am reminded that I must put into this year everything I expect and hope to get out of it.

I hope you will take the time to reflect. I hope you will take the time to look expectantly forward.

Thanks for joining me for another year together as we chat on the couch under a throw.

Have a great first week of 2021!!!!